Saturday, August 09, 2008

Falling apart

Since I met my (now) husband, A, in 1990, he has had
  1. a car accident, totaling his car, but no serious bodily damage, in 1993 or 94, not sure exactly of the date
  2. a bowel obstruction (#1) complete with emergency surgery, winter 2000, when J was 7 or 8 months old
  3. a car accident, totaling his car and very serious bodily damage (but good recovery), winter 2002 when J was 2-1/2
  4. a bowel obstruction (#2), no surgery, winter 2005, J was 5-1/2
  5. a bowel obstruction (#3), no surgery, 3 days ago, summer 2008...J is almost 9...
Not to mention an inherited genetic disease that killed both his father and his twin brother, but which has caused only minor (if any) health issues in A. So far.

Is it just me, or does this seem like a lot? Am I right to feel somewhat stressed?

And the thing that really drives me crazy is that, at least with the bowel obstructions, I'm always very minimizing -- it's nothing, will you calm down already! -- and he is freaking out, thinking he is dying. So now whenever he is sick, he thinks he's dying. And sometimes, as this list above proves, he really is dying. But I can't deal with it that way.

And the other thing that drives me crazy is that I'm left at home to hold it all together. I have to take care of J. I have to make sure the household is still running. I have to coordinate the visits to the hospital. I have to inform friends and family.

And when it's all over, I tend to fall apart... which is right about.... NOW


Anonymous said...

Hi, This is my first visit to your blog.

Maybe, you can also list a couple of great things happening to match with this list. That way, there is something to strengthen you.

Anonymous said...

Adena, haven't been reading in a while but was sure caught up in your postings tonight. So glad that A and J are doing fine now -- but you've been through the wringer. And vacations when kids/grownups get sick are really not fun. I feel for you, sending you a big hug.