Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Blah

It's been only 2 weeks since my lumpectomy, and while my body feels pretty good, I'm feeling kind of dejected inside. I don't know what to feel. I have breast cancer. It's early. It hasn't spread. But I'm still having 2 surgeries, which is twice as many as I've had in my whole life. And I don't know what hellish treatments might come after that. I keep reading about the different options (hormones, radiation, chemotherapy) and all the possible side effects and it's making me crazy. I know about the side effects of radiation and chemo, but I haven't really thought much (until now) about the hormonal treatments. Some of the side effects of these treatments are like menopause. Some of the side effects put you into menopause. Well, I was going to have to go through that anyway, right? So now it will just happen sooner. But I don't really want to go through that.

Then I read about all these brave women who put up with all these incredibly awful side effects, and think: why am I such a wimp?

I hate this. Blah.

3 comments:

christina(apronstrings) said...

it certainly does sound like it is an easy life for you at the moment. bah.

ilanadavita said...

I have just discovered your blog, via Mom in Israel. Wishing you all the best for the coming weeks.

Anonymous said...

You, Adena, are not what I call a wimp. You are intelligent, informed and honest and dealing with big stuff. Webster's says a wimp is a 'feeble, ineffective person' -- none of those are anywhere near who you are.
With love,
B