Lately, people have been coming up to me and saying things like: "You look really good!" The implication being: how come you have cancer and you look good?
I feel like I'm supposed to apologize or something. "Sorry I look so good! I should really be looking more awful, but the cancer hasn't really affected my appearance. So far."
I've been lucky. My lumpectomies don't really show through my clothes, so my chest looks pretty normal. I haven't had chemo, so I still have my hair. I haven't had any side effects (yet) from radiation, and even if I do, I don't think you'd be able to SEE those side effects. So, it's true, I look pretty good for someone with cancer.
But what is someone with cancer supposed to look like, anyway? And if I don't look the way people expect someone with cancer to look...what does that say about me? And about them?
And how I look doesn't necessarily reflect how I feel. I've been pretty tired lately - not sure if it's from the cancer or just from life. And I'm not particularly enjoying going to radiation every day, even though I have a reserved parking spot that reads "oncology patients only." Why would I park in a spot for oncology patients? Oh, yeah...