Saturday, December 19, 2009

A year ago

It all started exactly a year ago, December 19, 2008. I went to my doctor for my bi-annual breast check. We were laughing and chatting. Then she felt the lump.

I didn't believe it at first. It just felt, well, lumpy, and not unlike other things I'd felt before. I even went back to have her check a few days later. No, it was really there. She wanted me to have it checked out.

I tried very hard not to be concerned about it for several weeks, until my imaging appointment. Then on January 2, I had a mammogram and an ultrasound at the BIDMC downtown. They were definitely concerned. Funny, the doctor wouldn't say it, but the ultrasound tech did: it looked like cancer. But they wouldn't say for sure until the biopsy. That was the day I really knew.

That was a Friday, and I had the biopsy on the following Tuesday. The results weren't ready until noon the following Friday. Friday January 9, 2009.

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.

And the rest, as they say, is history. I had 2 surgeries in February to completely remove the lump; I spent part of March dealing with an abscess (unrelated to the cancer) and with oncology decisions; I had radiation treatment in May and June; I started hormonal treatment and a research study after that; I have monthly shots as part of the study, and I've been dealing with side effects of medications ever since. I feel like I've aged 10 years. I'm in menopause. I don't have my stamina back yet. I'm very emotional. My family feels the stress, too.

It hasn't been a great year.

I'm really hoping that 2010 is better.


meshugennamom said...

Hi Adena - I lurk on your blog often (and I really enjoy reading your posts), but this is my first comment.

I'm so sorry that your year has been such an "epic fail"; we, too, have had the shadow of cancer in our home this year. (My husband was dx'd with renal cell carcinoma, and had a kidney removed this past spring as a result.) The uncertainty, the fear, the stress, the overall suckiness ... I feel you, on all of it.

I wish you and your family nothing but health, joy, hope, and peace for the coming year and beyond. B'shalom. ~ Ruth

adena said...

Thank you. Here's to a better year for both of us. --Adena

AS said...

Hi Adena,
I appreciate and admire your bravery and candor. The sharing helps all of us. I wish for you and your family good health, happiness, peace (and good weather - as we face another Nor'easter) in 2010.

adena said...

Thanks, AS, for your kind comments. Wishing you a good new year as well. --Adena

ima2seven said...

Shalom Adena. How horrible. I wish you and your family a year of good health, no scares, and peace. I had a "lump" scare after one of my babies was born; lots of dr's but thank G-d, just a scare. It gave me greater appreciation for what a horrible emotional upheaval it must be.

Looking forward to reading more - only good news.

Starchilde7 said...

2010 will be a better year, and I will remind you again that you are stronger than you think.

Unknown said...

Hi Adena,
I love reading your blog and was so touched by this last entry. Makes me feel how out of touch we've been this year....sounds like you could use some R& are always welcome out here in CA....let's talk soon.

Kristin - Manic Mommies said...

Cheers to 2010 being better than 2009!

Anonymous said...

One year. You've been through so much. Here's to a most definitely better year...