Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Onc appt @ noon

The sun is shining, and the birds are chirping, and the squirrels are busily searching for things to eat, and the day is unusually warm for November...and I have an oncologist appointment at noon. I am inexplicably sad about it. There is really nothing to fear. It's just a check-in. We'll exchange pleasantries, and she'll ask me how I'm doing. I'll tell her I'm doing just fine now that I'm off the study drug and the sleeping pills, and now that I don't have hot flashes and can sleep. I'll tell her that my periods finally came back. Not sure how she'll take that news. And she'll do a physical exam, and all will be well. But I still don't like going. It reminds me of everything that happened, and even though I feel like I'm pretty much past that now...it's still there. And I keep hearing about women being diagnosed with breast cancer, women having recurrences of their cancer, women with stage IV cancer, women dying of cancer. And I'm still scared. And angry.

No comments: